March 13, 197 AC



(Sidefic series for the Death and the Dragon Arc)

By: Mel and Christy
Warnings: Humour?


Heero dumped another bucket of water over his head, then walked from the stream to his small camp, drying his hair with a towel. The mission was finally over. It had gone off without a hitch, except for the full communications black-out, and shortly he'd pack up and head back to the safehouse Quatre and Duo were supposedly inhabiting. Maybe he could get Duo to make a stew, or that pasta bake thing... maybe he could get Quatre to work the kinks out of his back...

Finished with his hair, he poured a cup of coffee and opened his laptop. He spied eight emails from Relena and winced. "It's not like I could break silence just to apologise and tell her there was a communitcation black-out, after all," he muttered, opening the last one and reading it. After firing off a very apologetic reply, complete with explanations, the Japanese pilot began packing his camping gear into a storage hatch in Wing's leg. Suddenly, the 'funeral gong' sound from some ancient Earth band's song 'Hells Bells' went off, signalling an email from Duo, and he went back to his laptop, cringing when he saw the braided teen's new email address and the letter's subject.


SENT: 08:51 March 13, 197AC

---message begins---

Dammit Hee-chan, control your woman! Do you know what she did?! She called me on 'Scythe's comm in the middle of a battle. 'Scythe is just a bit pissed at her right now. I'm not too happy, and neither is Q, since he's stuck taking care of me. To make matters worse, she called just to tell me you hadn't contacted her. Geez! Do I look like the Missing Heero Bureau?! Tell me again why I fixed you two up together? Oh, right! Because I'm a masochist. One or both of you will be the death of me yet.

And what have you been teaching your princess, eh? Sarcasm 101? She got sarcastic and actually yelled at me over email! Then she threatened to come and take care of me if Blondie got called away. Well, he just did. Heero, I'm begging you, come save me from your crazy girlfriend! Quatre and Trowa have to leave tonight, and I'm still a bit laid up. If Relena finds out-- and you *know* she will-- she'll come and look after me! What if she tries to clean, or do laundry, or-- SHINIGAMI FORBID-- COOK?!

You owe me, Hee-chan! You stole 'Scythe's parts, I broke you out of the hospital, you set your own leg in front of me... need I go on? Please don't leave me to that crazy onna's tender mercies! I may not survive! If you're not coming, I'm calling Psycho Une to come and capture me, I swear. I stand a better chance of surviving with her than I do with Relena... and Q or T will always break me out.

I'm serious, Hee-chan-- Don't bail on me now!

Duo - the possibly soon to be miserable

P.S. Have I ever thanked you for teaching me 'onna', 'chan' and all of those other useful Japanese words? Does 'Omae o korosu' ring a bell? It will if you run away on me.

---message ends---



SENT: 09:02 March 13, 197AC
SUBJECT: It's not my fault!

---message begins---


I can't help it if I have to cut communications in the middle of a mission! I'm sorry, honest; if I'd had any prior warning that OZ were getting that close to interpreting and decoding our private transmissions, I would have let you and Relena know I was about to shut down. The mission went fine, apart from that.

Be fair-- you can't blame her for calling you in the middle of a battle. How was she supposed to know? And what's this about '*my* woman', '*my* princess'? To borrow a quote from your religious tradition, I am not my girlfriend's keeper. I'll be yours, though, if it'll save you from her tender mercies.

Don't go flinging yourself into Une's hands just yet, okay? She doesn't appreciate you... well, she does, but in a threat assessment sort of way, not an enjoyment sort of way. Besides, I don't think she'll be in the mood to see any of us right now, considering that I just blew up a major research station and dropped hunter-killer viruses into OZ's system to destroy all the copies of their findings.

I'll be there soon, so don't do anything rash!


P.S. Want me to grab a tiramisu on the way? (Rhetorical question. I'm assuming the answer is 'Hell YES!')

---message ends---


*Hopefully that will keep him either amused or annoyed-- or both-- long enough for me to get back there before he bolts for cover,* Heero thought, shutting his laptop down and starting to pack up camp even faster than normal. *'A bit laid up' could mean anything from a few muscle strains to multiple broken bones, but that wouldn't stop him if he decided he had to leave to escape Relena's cooking. And he says I don't look after myself properly when I'm hurt!*

Gundam Wing




















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