LETTERS FROM DUO
for the Death and the Dragon Arc)
By: Mel and
Heero dumped another
bucket of water over his head, then walked from the stream to his small camp,
drying his hair with a towel. The mission was finally over. It had gone off
without a hitch, except for the full communications black-out, and shortly he'd
pack up and head back to the safehouse Quatre and Duo were supposedly
inhabiting. Maybe he could get Duo to make a stew, or that pasta bake thing...
maybe he could get Quatre to work the kinks out of his back...
with his hair, he poured a cup of coffee and opened his laptop. He spied eight
emails from Relena and winced. "It's not like I could break silence just to
apologise and tell her there was a communitcation black-out, after all," he
muttered, opening the last one and reading it. After firing off a very
apologetic reply, complete with explanations, the Japanese pilot began packing
his camping gear into a storage hatch in Wing's leg. Suddenly, the 'funeral
gong' sound from some ancient Earth band's song 'Hells Bells' went off,
signalling an email from Duo, and he went back to his laptop, cringing when he
saw the braided teen's new email address and the letter's
SENT: 08:51 March 13, 197AC
Dammit Hee-chan, control your
woman! Do you know what she did?! She called me on 'Scythe's comm in the middle
of a battle. 'Scythe is just a bit pissed at her right now. I'm not too happy,
and neither is Q, since he's stuck taking care of me. To make matters worse, she
called just to tell me you hadn't contacted her. Geez! Do I look like the
Missing Heero Bureau?! Tell me again why I fixed you two up together? Oh, right!
Because I'm a masochist. One or both of you will be the death of me
And what have you been teaching your princess, eh? Sarcasm 101? She
got sarcastic and actually yelled at me over email! Then she threatened to come
and take care of me if Blondie got called away. Well, he just did. Heero, I'm
begging you, come save me from your crazy girlfriend! Quatre and Trowa have to
leave tonight, and I'm still a bit laid up. If Relena finds out-- and you *know*
she will-- she'll come and look after me! What if she tries to clean, or do
laundry, or-- SHINIGAMI FORBID-- COOK?!
You owe me, Hee-chan! You stole
'Scythe's parts, I broke you out of the hospital, you set your own leg in front
of me... need I go on? Please don't leave me to that crazy onna's tender
mercies! I may not survive! If you're not coming, I'm calling Psycho Une to come
and capture me, I swear. I stand a better chance of surviving with her than I do
with Relena... and Q or T will always break me out.
Hee-chan-- Don't bail on me now!
Duo - the possibly soon to be
P.S. Have I ever thanked you for teaching me 'onna', 'chan' and
all of those other useful Japanese words? Does 'Omae o korosu' ring a bell? It
will if you run away on me.
SENT: 09:02 March 13, 197AC
SUBJECT: It's not my
I can't help it if I have
to cut communications in the middle of a mission! I'm sorry, honest; if I'd had
any prior warning that OZ were getting that close to interpreting and decoding
our private transmissions, I would have let you and Relena know I was about to
shut down. The mission went fine, apart from that.
Be fair-- you can't
blame her for calling you in the middle of a battle. How was she supposed to
know? And what's this about '*my* woman', '*my* princess'? To borrow a quote
from your religious tradition, I am not my girlfriend's keeper. I'll be yours,
though, if it'll save you from her tender mercies.
Don't go flinging
yourself into Une's hands just yet, okay? She doesn't appreciate you... well,
she does, but in a threat assessment sort of way, not an enjoyment sort of way.
Besides, I don't think she'll be in the mood to see any of us right now,
considering that I just blew up a major research station and dropped
hunter-killer viruses into OZ's system to destroy all the copies of their
I'll be there soon, so don't do anything
P.S. Want me to grab a tiramisu on the way?
(Rhetorical question. I'm assuming the answer is 'Hell YES!')
*Hopefully that will keep him either amused
or annoyed-- or both-- long enough for me to get back there before he bolts for
cover,* Heero thought, shutting his laptop down and starting to pack up camp
even faster than normal. *'A bit laid up' could mean anything from a few
muscle strains to multiple broken bones, but that wouldn't stop him if he
decided he had to leave to escape Relena's cooking. And he says I don't
look after myself properly when I'm hurt!*