Your Heart Will Lead You Home

 

 

Disclaimers: Your Heart Will Lead You Home sung by Kenny Loggins and NOT owned by me. For that matter, neither are the G-boys. Or Reunion. <sighs>

Warnings: Angst!

Sunny days and starry nights
And lazy afternoons
You're countin' castles in the clouds
And hummin' little tunes

Duo sighed, staring up at the sky from where he lay on a grassy hill. It wasn't hard to enjoy the splendor of nature around him, but he knew that his time was up. He'd thought long and hard about what had happened at the party. One month, in fact. And during that month, he'd decided that he could probably salvage some sort of friendship with the Chinese pilot. The thought had left his heart warm and his soul happier than he'd been in a long time. If he couldn't get love, then friendship would be wonderful.

But somehow right before your eyes
The summer fades away
Everything is different
And everything has changed

"I'd like to speak to Relena Peacecraft," Duo grinned winningly at the secretary, still half-wondering why none of Heero's email addresses or phone numbers worked. It was odd, but Heero had spent so much time during the war hiding such things that he'd probably changed them all from habit. And it had always been up to Duo to ferret them out. It was almost like a game.
"I'm sorry," the woman said, her cold smile tightening slightly as she looked him up and down. "She's not in at the moment. May I take a message, please?"
"Huh? Oh, sure!" Duo beamed. This'd work, at least. "Just tell her to get in contact with Duo Maxwell. She knows how."
"Yes . . . sir," said the secretary, the word dripping ice. Duo, however, was too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice.

Two weeks, and when Duo checked his emails, he frowned. Nothing from Queenie. Nothing from Q-man, or Tro. Nothing from Heero, either, and that hurt. About the only person he hadn't tried to contact was Wufei. He just wasn't ready for that, yet. As much as he'd convinced himself that he could go back to being friends with Wufei, he knew that he had to be on safe ground, home ground, before he was ready to make the step to fix things between them.
So he sent out an electronic postcard, toasting the end of his wartime email address in Australia and praying that they would write.

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You never alone, you know

"I don't get it, guys," Duo said to himself miserably, staring at his empty inbox. He'd cleared away all the junk mail, and now he was left with . . . nothing. "Do I have the plague or somethin'?" Once more, he sat down, writing another set of emails, his thoughts of Wufei interrupted by curiosity. Surely Q-man would answer, at least! Surely . . . .

Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you home

He fingered the cross at his neck, thinking about all of his friends. They were the best. They wouldn't leave him hanging once they realized. Nodding, he looked at the email he was on. Finally, he figured out what to say. "I was wondering... is the offer of a place to stay and go to school still open? I think I'm ready to come home." Another thought, and he added, "I miss you guys," as well. Sappy, yeah, but he was writing to Q-man and Tro. They would understand. Hell, for that matter, so would Heero . . . if he could ever figure out the Japanese pilot's new contact information.

***

Funny how a photograph
Can take you back in time
To places and embraces
That you thought you left behind

Wufei was trying very hard not to think about the party. It seemed to take quite a bit of effort when he was staring at the picture Relena had taken then. Fingers drifted up to touch the glass over Duo's chest, and flitted away again without even brushing that much. It had been everything he'd ever wanted, he sighed, letting the memories envelope him and holding them close to his heart. That one kiss had plugged a missing hole in his heart, giving him the key to the lock he'd placed on his soul.

They're trying to remind you
That you're not the only one
That no one is an island
When all is said and done

Even as the memory of the kiss warmed him, the memory of the next morning chilled him. The kiss had given him the key to the lock, had plugged the hole, but the very next day he'd placed three more locks over the first, had destroyed the hole with the new chasm he'd rent. And he couldn't seem to fix it. But it was fine. He was fine alone.
*No, you're not,* whispered his mind, but he shoved the thought aside, refusing to acknowledge it. He would get by. It was better than hurting Duo again. Far better to be alone. And he forced himself to believe that.

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You never alone, you know

"Where are you now, Duo?" he asked softly, sighing. "What are you doing? Are you enjoying yourself, whereever you are?" As long as his thoughts went with Duo, Wufei decided, remembering the teachings of his Sensei many years before, neither of them would ever be truly alone.

Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you home

This time, his fingers did trace down the glass of the picture. Surely they could work this out eventually. And in the meantime, Duo had all of his other friends. And he had Heero. Heero would keep Duo's heart safe. Heero wouldn't let anything happen to the brash American pilot.

***

There'll come a day when you're losing your way
And you won't know where you belong
They say that home is where the heart is
So follow your heart
And know that you can't go wrong

"Damned shuttle," Duo growled, glaring at the computer in the Internet cafe again. Maybe he should just try to call Quatre and Trowa again. Or Relena. No, definitely not Relena. That secretary was a bitch! Briefly, his mind flitted to Wufei. If he called 'Fei, would the Chinese pilot ignore him, too?
Finally, he tapped out a quick message to Quatre and Trowa. At the end, he asked for a room, as usual. Then he sighed, letting someone else check their mail and surf the Net, flashing a sick version of his smile as he left the cafe. He could always check back tomorrow. Clutching his CDs and player, he headed for a small, lower-end motel that had a vacancy sign. Surely this time they'd write back.

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You never alone, you know

He popped the CD into the player, wondering once more why they hadn't written. Did he just not rate anymore? Now that the war was over, was he just another faceless person in the crowds? Trying not to think about it, he curled up into a ball, listening to the music and clutching his braid and cross. When he felt himself drifting to sleep, he didn't bother to shut off the CD player. He'd only wake again in an hour or two. And it was nice to listen to someone's voice.
*Still hate me, 'Fei?*

***

Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you . . .

He sat bolt upright, then shivered, dropping his cross and braid. Within moments, he'd stalked over to the small shoebox he kept their clothing in, gathering it up and using it as a pillow. The combined smells of all of them, faded over time but kept bright within his memory, served to make life seem as though they were right there with him.
He didn't know why he even bothered to imagine it, though. It wasn't like any of them had cared enough to write him back. September eighteenth, the last night he'd be at Blake's Port Motel and no one had called. Quatre and Trowa had known for a week. Relena (and presumably, Heero) had known for four days. No email, no calls. Hell, no one had even bothered to tell him to 'fuck off.' Well, no one other than Relena's secretary. Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to assume that Relena hadn't told her to be that way. Maybe . . . maybe it didn't matter anymore. *Screw 'em all,* he thought, burrowing down into the clothes, a whisper of black silk against his cheek like a caress.

***

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You never alone, you know

*Odd,* Wufei thought, searching through his drawers. *I don't remember losing that dragon sash.* Twenty days from Christmas, nearly eight months from the day that Wufei had managed to fuck up his entire life, and Wufei was busy looking for a sash. A sash that reminded him of Duo.

Just think of your friends
The ones who care

Thoughts of Duo swirled in his mind as he searched for the sash. Then, giving up, he sank down to the floor beside the dresser, letting the images overtake him. Visions of Duo prancing around with the sash on his head, wound around his braid, trailing over his body like a gentle breath of wind . . . Thoughts of Duo's brash smile and ready laughter, of the way his lips had felt that night. Was that the night he'd lost the sash?

They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you where you belong

"Come home, Duo," Wufei whispered, tears swimming in his eyes, tears he refused to shed. Duo deserved better than to be the trigger for weakness. Duo deserved much better. "Come back to where you belong. Even if I never see you again, come home. I . . . I miss you."

I know your heart will lead you . . .
Home . . .

-Owari-

 

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