The Gundam pilots were all expecting the sessions to be highly unpleasant. Except Jay, who simply would not say. The order had been determined to be Heero, Asuka, Duo, Christy, Quatre, Mel, Trowa, Dan and Wufei. Heero made a point of being nowhere near Kattie’s designated office at time of his appointment.
He headed to the computer labs and nodded to one of the techs. “Computer work,” he grunted and sat down. He turned on the computer and within minutes was typing away. Suddenly, his screen went purple.
*That’s not the normal blue screen of death... strange world...* Heero thought.
[HELLO HEERO] was typed across the screen.
[HELLO] he typed back.
[^_^ GOOD, I WAS AFRAID YOU WOULDN’T RESPOND. I WANT TO PLAY A GAME WITH YOU]
[?_? WHAT KIND OF GAME?]
[^^;; TWENTY QUESTIONS. YOU GET TO WORK FOR THREE MINUTES PER QUESTION. DEAL?]
[>.< AND IF I REFUSE?]
[^o^ I ERASE YOUR WORK, OF COURSE. AND I PLAY THE HAMSTERDANCE UNTIL YOUR HEAD EXPLODES]
[QUESTION 1: WHAT IS THE EARLIEST THING YOU REMEMBER?]
Heero thought. Odin’s face floated into his mind, holding a gun up, showing him how to point. A half-remembered camping trip slash training session. They’d slept in a tent and Odin had shown him the stars and the colonies. He’d eaten a tasty treat called a s’more.
[ODIN LOWE TAKING ME ON A CAMPING TRIP. WE SLEPT IN A TENT, STUDIED ASTRONOMY, MARKSMANSHIP AND THE CAPACITY OF A HUMAN TO EAT A MISH-MASH OF MARSHMALLOW, GRAHAM CRACKER AND DARK CHOCOLATE. I WAS FOUR]
[^^ SOUNDS LIKE FUN. YOU HAVE THREE MINUTES]
Heero watched the purple screen disappear and began to work. The only way to tell that the computer had been hacked was a large, red digital counter in the corner which was counting down rapidly. When it hit 0:00, he saved, a splash screen stated BOOM and the screen dissolved into purple.
[QUESTION 2: WHO WAS ODIN LOWE? I EXPECT A DESCRIPTION, TOO]
Heero thought back. Once ready, he typed [ODIN LOWE WAS MY FIRST TEACHER. HE WAS MY MENTOR AND MY... FRIEND? HE DIED. HE WAS AN EX-ASSASSIN WHO WORKED AGAINST THE ALLIANCE. HE USED TO WORK FOR OZ. HE ASSASSINATED HEERO YUY, MY NAMESAKE. HE WAS KILLED DURING A MISSION TO COLONY X-18999 IN AC 188. HE INTENDED TO LEAVE ME THERE, TO MAKE MY WAY, BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT ME TO HAVE TO KILL ANY MORE. IT WAS HIS LAST MISSION. HE TOLD ME TO FOLLOW MY EMOTIONS... HE WAS A MAN OF PERHAPS THIRTY YEARS, BLOND, SCANDINAVIAN... WAIT, I GUESS SCANDAHOVIAN HERE]
There was a pause. [THANK YOU. THREE MINUTES]
Heero went back to work. He noted a slight tremble in his hands and frowned. Then he relaxed and let himself shake. *It’s okay to show emotions. The memories hurt. It’s okay.* When he was ready, he went back to work.
The rest of the hour progressed the same. At the last increment, Heero received a final message.
[THANKS FOR PLAYING TWENTY QUESTIONS WITH ME. YOUR SESSION IS NOW OVER. THAT WASN’T SO HARD, WAS IT?]
As the message faded, Heero blinked. *Excuse me?*
[OH, AND ONE MORE THING. NO TELLING...]
* * *
*Like Moses and the Red Sea...* Asuka thought. The hanger was insufferably hot, again. He stalked over to Morkeleb and began to work on the slightly sticky knee joint. His hand groped for a hydrospanner((SW ref, change it...)) and found the tool flashed in front of his eyes.
“Hn,” he said. Of course, in the time it took to say ‘hn’, he’d pulled a knife from somewhere on his person and was at the throat of the person with the spanner in an instant.
“I don’t believe I scheduled an emergency tracheotomy today. Mind letting me check?,” replied Kattie. Asuka blinked for a full three seconds as he realized that the young woman had been there the entire time. A few more went by before he took the knife away.
“What are you doing?” Asuka demanded. He noted she was wearing a pair of overalls with a halter top underneath proclaiming ‘Ferengi Rules of Acquisition’ on it. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail.
“Helping you. The knee is slow because you bypassed the lubrication vent in the knee pit, and it’s beginning to grind.”
Asuka glared at her, and she wisely remained silent. He then took apart the knee joint, looking at the wiring, for rust, foreign bodies, anything. This process took a little over fifteen minutes. Asuka finally checked the lubrication vent, which had been bypassed. Asuka growled at it and got to work.
“How the hell did you know what was wrong?” he demanded.
A swift flash of pain flitted over Kattie’s features. “I’m familiar with the design.”
“Why are you here?” Asuka demanded after a moment. She smiled slightly and handed him another tool. Asuka gave her a look one reserved for those who hand you live, spitting cobras.
“Ah, only the first question is free. If you want an answer to that question, you have to answer one of mine.”
“Fine,” Asuka grumbled. He remained silent. Safely out of his visual range, she rolled her eyes.
“Where did you first meet this fine fellow?” she asked, patting Morkeleb on the knee. Asuka thought, and opened his mouth.
“Fuck off,” Asuka growled.
“Would you like me to rephrase?”
“Would you like me to? Fuck. Off. Now.”
Kattie took this calmly and repeated her question. Asuka repeated his answer with colourful epithets attached.
“Are you going to go away?”
“Not until you answer the question, no.”
Asuka growled, glared and gave in. But only briefly. “I was wandering around a hanger and I found it. I got on the lists of pilots. I won. End of story.
“But what about your child--”
Asuka glared at her coldly and she stopped dead. “Listen, you’re about one sentence away from a cold steel enema. Shut up.”
Kattie wisely did so. She used the time she stopped shaking to carefully reformulate her questions. *I hit a nerve. Lucky me.*
Kattie asked very cautious questions, determining Asuka would never answer questions about his childhood. Asuka for his own part did not give into the temptation of killing her.
“Well, I declare your session to be over. Thanks for your time,” she declared, with only the barest hint of sarcasm.
“Session? That was your psychological evaluation?” Asuka asked.
Kattie nodded. “That’s right. Don’t tell and spoil the surprise, now.”
Asuka scowled at her and debated spilling the secret as she walked away. Instead, he had his Gundam put right way up, climbed into the cockpit and began flipping through the music selection.
There was a knock on the cockpit.
“Who is it?” he demanded.
“It’s me, ‘Suka-babe!” caroled a familiar voice, and the only person who was permitted to call him ‘ ‘Suka-babe’.
“What do you want?” he asked. He smiled slightly to himself. He was beginning to be less annoyed with Dan as time progressed.
“I think you know what I want,” Dan purred. Asuka made a face.
“That’s a horrible line.”
“I know. Here’s a better one. Wheee! Je suis tout nu!” Dan said.
Asuka smirked and hit the hatch opening. Dan tumbled into the hatch and onto Asuka’s lap. Asuka closed the hatch.
“No, you’re not,” he growled and stripped off Dan’s shirt. He ran his tongue from navel to collar. Dan purred, wiggling. Asuka unbuttoned his pants and zipped them down. He let his hand trail down the crevass of Dan’s ass. Dan leaned over and whispered in his ear.
“Aimerais-tu sucer ma bite?” Dan he breathed, breath fanning over Asuka’s neck, making him shiver.
“Oui...” Asuka growled, though the angle was pretty impossible. Asuka hit something in frustration. Dan wiggled out of his pants and went to his knees before Asuka.
“Non? Mais, je veux sucer la tienne...” Dan said, reaching into Asuka’s pants. Using one hand to cup Asuka’s balls and the with the other he zipped down Asuka’s pants and pushed them off. He flicked his tongue along the underside of Asuka’s member. Asuka tightened his grip on Dan’s shoulders.
“Damnit...” Asuka hissed as Dan gave him a blowjob to blow his mind. Dan proceeded to climb into Asuka’s lap.
Asuka grinned and lifted Dan higher, then brought him down to impale Dan on himself. Dan moaned as they rocked back and forth together. With each thrust, Asuka hit something deep and delicious inside of Dan. When Asuka released, they both collapsed back into the seat. Asuka gave Dan a kiss, then pushed him gently.
“Let’s go, before someone comes looking for us.”
Dan nodded and they cleaned themself, dressed and arranged themselves to some semblance of order. They both exited the cockpit. When they got to ground, they noted a small crowd.
The Firman and Earthan Gundam pilots were snickering quietly to themselves. No one else was in sight.
“What’s so funny?” Asuka growled. Quatre and Jay burst out laughing. Trowa smiled calmly at them both.
“Next time, you might want to turn off the external speakers,” Trowa said. Dan turned bright red while Asuka turned white. Both of them stalked out of the hanger without another word.
And Asuka never did remember to tell them about Kattie.
* * *
1- “Whee! I’m naked.”
2- “Would you like to suck my dick?”
4- “No? Well, I want to suck yours...”
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