March 10, 197 AC


(Sidefic series for the Death and the Dragon Arc)

By: Mel and Christy
Warnings: Humour

Duo limped carefully into the safehouse, trying to avoid straining his back any more than it was, and booted up his laptop. His shower and cleaning up could definitely wait five minutes while he told Relena what he was thinking. Oh, yes... it could wait a few minutes...


SENT: 16:46 March 10, 197AC

---message begins---

Relena -

I love you like the sister I've never had, but do not-- I repeat-- DO NOT call me on 'Scythe's comm in the middle of a battle! I almost got my head taken off by an Aries! Do you know how painful that is?! The muscles in my back may never get unknotted! Not to mention the work I'll have to do on poor 'Scythe now. I gave you my comm contact for emergencies... like OZ is chasing you, your plane is being shot at, you're stranded on a mountain-top in the Himalayas! Not for 'Missing Heero' reports!

No, I don't exactly know where Spandex-babe is. No, I don't know why he isn't answering your emails. No, I don't know when he'll finish his mission. No, I don't know where his next one is. Hell, I don't even know where
*my* next mission will be! Sweetheart, are you falling back into Scary Stalker mode again?

I'm sure he's fine. If he'd been seriously wounded or captured, we'd have heard something. He's supposed to contact me sometime early tomorrow, so I'll make sure to tell him to get in touch with you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to shower this blood off of me, and get Quatre to wrap my ribs and baby me for a while. Thank God for Quatre...

Hugs, Kisses and SWATS if you ever comm me in battle again,


---message ends---


* * * * *

Relena grinned at Duo's 'sister' comment, then bristled as she read further. "I know exactly what 'emergencies' means," she muttered, "and this was an emergency... sort of. 'Scary stalker'?!"

She hit 'Reply' a little more forcefully than necessary and began to type.

SENT: 17:22 March 10, 197AC

---message begins---


Just how was I supposed to know you were in the middle of a battle?! It's not like I get polite warnings from OZ: "Excuse us, Miss Dorlian-Peacecraft, but we're going to be engaging in violent activities with pilot 02 tomorrow, between the hours of 3 and 4:30 pm, so it may not be advisable to contact him at that time. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. Normal communications will be resumed after we finish trying to take his head off." And quite frankly, I don't think getting your head taken off would be painful at ALL. At least, not for long.

For your information, I am NOT going into 'stalker mode' again. I consider it an emergency when Heero, Mister Punctual himself, misses all five of the times he told me he would try to contact me. I'm worried, so sue me. I'm very glad you don't have any bad news for me, but I'm still worried.

And is that any way to end an email? Now I'm worried about you, too. How badly are you hurt? I saw the cut on your forehead, does it need stitches? It's a very good thing Quatre's there, and not on a mission; he'll make sure you're taken care of properly. Look after yourself. And if he gets called away, let me know. I can always come look after you until he or Heero get back.



P.S. Do you have a safe drop address I can send some chocolates and so forth to? Invalids must get treats, after all.

P.P.S. I LOVE that email address you made up for me! How do you get that to work? Can I get something like that on one of my 'real' addresses?

---message ends---


* * * * *

Later, Duo was sprawled on his stomach, clean and bandaged with Quatre trying to gently knead some of the knots out of his back, when his laptop beeped. He flipped the lid open, brought up the email and quickly started giggling.

"Duo, what's so funny?" the blond pilot asked him.

"Oh, god... you've got to read this... Relena is in fine form today!"






















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