Bish Hunter Duo


                                                                                                                                                                                                    Episode 4

Friday- Wufei

Once again we return to our study of the bishounen, concentrating today on the final member of this small pack... the Chang Wufei. Like the Heero we studied yesterday, Wufei's are inordinately early risers, posing a problem for any researcher who is not a morning person. Nevertheless, we have managed to get in place soon enough to observe this magnificent specimen performing his morning rituals and activities.

The camera shifted around to get a clear line of sight between leaves and branches, then zoomed in until it was aimed at the back door of the house. The shot was angled rather steeply downwards, and the camera wobbled as a light breeze swayed the branches; Duo, it seemed, was in danger of falling out of his tree.

The Wufei is, in many ways, a creature of habit, Duo continued, not sounding at all worried by his precarious position. While it may seem that all of the other bishounen in this pack have their own regular occupations, only the Wufei has a fixed daily schedule that he adheres to no matter what else is going on around him, or where he may find himself when one of his activities is due. When at home, the first element of his routine takes place here, rain or shine... and it's due to start...

The door opened.

Watch closely, Duo murmured, zooming in a little closer as Wufei walked out, wearing loose white pants and and a tanktop. The ritual with which a Wufei greets a new day is one of the most magnificent sights in Nature.

Wufei started a series of slow warm-up stretches, camera following his every move, and Duo's soft narrative continued. When the bishounen are seen as a group, the Wufei definitely stands out. Possessing plumage and eyes of unrelieved black, he is also the only bishounen with warm-toned golden skin. Combined with his undeniably impressive plumage, in a different style, yet equal to that possessed by the Heero, this gives him a strikingly attractive appearance that is noticed by bishounen and bishoujo alike. Amazingly enough, the Wufei is either oblivious to advances by anyone outside his immediate group, or else is extremely good at ignoring them. Since it cannot be denied that this subspecies is very perceptive, the weight of evidence points towards option B.

Finished with his preliminary stretches, Wufei stripped off his tanktop, tossed it to one side, and settled into the first position of his Tai Chi forms.

*Ahem* Yes... observe the well-developed musculature, Duo muttered absent-mindedly, zooming in for a closeup of Wufei's chest and stomach. I believe this particular configuration is known as a 'sixpack'.

The grace with which the Wufei moves is... certainly evident in this scene, he continued. Wufei was slowly moving to one side as he went through the patterns, and the camera was inching over to the left as Duo kept his subject in view between the leaves. A little further left... and a little further again... and suddenly it was swinging further left and down, accompanied by a strangled squeak of dismay. Branches thrashed around as Duo grabbed at the nearest handhold to save himself, and he let out a relieved sigh as everything stabilised again.

A narrow escape there, I think, he whispered cheerfully, pointing the camera straight down for a moment and zooming in and out at the ground below. We nearly--uh-oh. The camera froze for a second, then began swivelling slowly around towards the house.

We, er, may soon be able to gather data on how this particular bishounen reacts to discovering he's being filmed. The picture was at almost a ninety-degree angle, but it was clear that Wufei had broken off and was staring straight at the tree, frowning.

The Wufei is very observant, as I believe I mentioned earlier, Duo whispered, but at least he isn't nearly as suspicious as the Heero Yui we filmed yesterday. If we are extremely lucky, he may decide that the disturbance was made by a bird, or some other natural cause. If not... I may have to come up with a truthful-yet-misleading explanation for my presence in one hell of a hurry.

Raising one eyebrow, Wufei shrugged slightly and turned away, resuming his Tai Chi forms where he left off.

Phew! Er... this may not be the best position to be filming from, but I think I'll stay here for the time being, Duo muttered under his breath. No sense in making our subject any more suspicious than he may already be, after all...

After a few more minutes of Tai Chi, Wufei finished and dropped out of stance again. As he was picking up his shirt, the door behind him opened.

Demonstrating his usual excellent timing, the Quatre has managed not to interrupt the Wufei's morning ritual. Unlike us.

"Wufei, breakfast is ready. Have you seen Duo? He's not still in your room, but nobody knows where he is."

"I haven't 'seen' him yet, but I'm sure he's around," Wufei said calmly, draping his tanktop over one shoulder and strolling towards the door. "He wouldn't have gone far without telling someone."

"True..." Quatre suddenly smiled impishly. "If he doesn't turn up in the next couple of minutes, I'll get Heero to yell for him."

"So long as he doesn't threaten to feed me a sugar overdose, I don't have a problem with that..."

As the door closed behind them, the picture started jerking around wildly as Duo scrambled down the tree. We will resume filming when the Wufei is once more in an area where we can observe him from cover. In the meantime, even the most dedicated researchers need food!




Here we see the Wufei in one of his quieter moods, tending to plants in a part of the den's immediate surroundings he has claimed as his own. Apparently filming low down under a bush, the camera zoomed in on Wufei, on his knees weeding. Apparently choosing plants mostly for the shape and colour of their foliage, he places them seemingly at random, adds several large rocks, and achieves an effect of surprising peace and tranquility.

In order to preserve this atmosphere, he then proceeds to prune the hell out of them whenever they threaten to grow in the wrong direction, Duo added, panning slightly to one side and zooming in on a pair of pruning shears sitting ready on top of a neatly folded garbage bag. In many ways, this is as much of an obsession for the Wufei as the shiny metal noisemakers are for the Heero.

Hm. Yes. The camera focussed on Wufei again as he stretched to yank up an offending piece of grass, his light shirt clinging to him in the midday heat.

You know, in the interest of scientific curiosity, we really should repeat the distraction experiment we tried on the Heero, just to see if the Wufei takes its fixation as seriously as he does...




Yep. He's distractable, Duo whispered, camera focussed on nothing but blue sky and puffy white clouds.



On to Epilogue

Gundam Wing

















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