Chapter 2
Heero
leaned forward over the table, cobalt blue eyes boring into Wufei's. "He was
hiding from us."
Wufei sat frozen, face blank and cold, as his
mind raced.
*He runs, he hides, but he never
lies...*
*"Why, 'Fei, I woulda done this a long time ago if
I'd known you were such a good kisser."*
*"I don't want to
be alone!"*
*"I lo-- I'll, uh, keep in touch, okay?"*
*Well, he
called Trowa... once. Oh gods, Duo, I'm sorry!*
Looking at
Wufei's cold, uncaring mask, Heero snapped.
< < CRACK! > >
Wufei's chair went over backwards as pain exploded in his jaw; then
Heero dove over the table, dragged him up by a fistful
of his shirt, and
slammed him into the wall.
"What the fuck did you think you were
doing, Chang?!" he snarled, twisting his fistful of shirt and half-choking
Wufei. "Even if you didn't give a damn about what happened to Duo, you
knew he mattered to us! The least you could have done was tell us
when you drove him away, so we'd know to go
after him--"
"I DIDN'T
KNOW!" Wufei screamed hoarsely.
Heero's grip loosened, just a fraction;
Wufei choked, coughed and went on.
"I didn't know he'd broken off
contact with you," he said quietly. "He was always closer to you three than me,
even before I -- I screwed up. Hell, I thought--" He glanced up, saw Relena
watching with her hands pressed to her mouth, and changed what he had been about
to say. "I was sure he was keeping in touch with you all, just avoiding me. For
all I knew, he'd asked you not to mention him to me." He laughed, a bitter,
humourless sound. "I couldn't bring myself to ask you how he was, though gods
know I wanted to... and you never brought him up, either. Did
you?"
Heero glared and opened his mouth to reply, but Quatre beat him to
it. "Wufei's right." Everyone turned to look at him, standing next to his chair;
he twisted his hands together nervously, but continued. "From what you're
saying, Wufei had reason to think that nothing was wrong when Duo didn't
contact
him, but none of us did... and we still let things slide for
eight months. This... this is our fault too."
"Agreed," Trowa said
quietly. "But I think we need to know what Wufei did to drive Duo
away."
"Yeah," Heero said, releasing Wufei's shirt slowly. "And tell it
properly this time... none of that 'misunderstanding' shit."
Once they
were all seated again, Wufei swallowed, wincing slightly at the pain from the
rapidly swelling bruise. *How can I say this?*
"Go
on," Heero growled.
Wufei licked dry lips, staring almost
desperately around the room; then he looked directly at Quatre and just blurted
it out.
"At your party for the end of the war... out on the balcony,
right before you threw up... Duo kissed me." The next words seemed to stick in
his throat, and he paused.
"And you reacted badly?" Trowa asked
calmly.
"No! I-- I wanted to," Wufei confessed. "But I thought... Duo was
drunk, and so was I, and he'd never said or done anything to make me think he
might... anyway, I thought--" His eyes flicked to Heero and Relena and he
stopped, blushing.
"Thought what?" Heero asked.
"It's not
relevant."
"Yes it is, Chang, if it's got anything to do with what
happened! No more keeping your mouth shut!"
"I thought he was... with
you," Wufei muttered, looking away.
There was a long, uncomfortable
pause.
"Well... they were together," Relena said quietly. "For a
while."
Wufei stared at her, mouth open, astonished. Relena was blushing,
but met his eyes steadily. "They were...?" he sputtered. "You knew... and
you still...?"
"Duo explained it to me," she said, tipping her chin up,
determined. "They... loved, yes, but not as lovers, exactly; as friends,
and brothers, and... soldiers, I suppose. I had to think about it for a long
time, to decide how I felt... but their relationship never threatened
ours."
"It was... just a few times," Heero muttered, looking away; Relena
covered his hand in hers and squeezed gently.
Trowa cleared his throat.
"Returning to Wufei's story...? He kissed you. Then what?"
"A little
later, in the study, things went... further." Wufei had his eyes closed now,
refusing to look at anyone. *Just say it and get it over
with!*
"How much further?"
"I. Don't. Know," he gritted out
through clenched teeth.
"Oh, like you really expect us to believe
that--"
"I told you, I was drunk!" Wufei yelled at Heero.
"I can't remember! All I know is, I woke up on the sofa with Duo, both of
us pretty well naked, I had no idea how far we'd got before we passed
out, and I had no idea how to tell! Shit, it's not like I'd had a lot of
practice--" He broke off, blushing even harder.
"Couldn't Duo tell?"
Quatre put in.
There was a short pause as Wufei struggled with the
tattered remnants of his pride. *I've told them everything else... why balk
at this one last thing? My honour's gone, so does face really
matter?*
"I don't know," he said quietly, for what felt like the
hundredth time. "I panicked. I was terrified that he'd wake up and hate me, or
be afraid of me, or... any number of things... so I did the most cowardly thing
I've ever done in my life, and walked out while he slept. Then I avoided him,
because I didn't have the courage to face him... and then he left, and
I've never wanted anything in my life more than to beg him to stay but all I did
was stand there like a fucking idiot and call him 'Maxwell'--"
Hot
tears slid down his cheeks, and he tried to wipe them away with a shaking
hand.
*And I think the only thing that's kept me sane for the last
eight months was the belief that Duo was out there somewhere doing fine, that at
least he still had his friends, and now--*
"--and now I find out that
he did mean it, it wasn't just the damn drinks, he was afraid I'd
hate him if he let me know and it looks like that's exactly what I made
him think, and I--"
*--I love him--*
Relena stood, tears
streaming down her face, and moved towards Wufei, but he waved her away and
stood, trembling.
"I hope Duo's found someone else to love, because I
sure as hell don't deserve him."
And he turned and walked out.
* *
* * *
Lady Une looked up from her paperwork with a sigh as, for the
second day in a row, the door to her office slammed back against the wall. Zechs
and Noin skidded to a halt in front of her desk, panting.
"Lady Une!"
Noin gasped, wide-eyed. "Please tell us this isn't true!"
Zechs
held out a sheet of printout; Une peered at it. "Ah. That." She didn't
have to read it -- the photo was unmistakable. "Unfortunately, it's accurate.
Duo Maxwell is missing."
"Oh god... Excuse me, Lady Une,
I've gotta go protect my Taurus!" Noin ran out.
"Er... yes." Zechs
suddenly looked even more uncomfortable. "I, ah, might look in on my
mobile suit as well..."
Une waved her hand dismissively, looking back
down and picking up her pen. "Shoo. Shoo. Close the door as you
leave."
As the door closed behind him, she began to hum
quietly.
"On the first day of Maxwell, my enemy sent to me... white roses
and stephanotis. On the second day of Maxwell, my enemy sent to me... hm. I
wonder what he did to them? And do I get three panicked visitors
tomorrow?"
----------
Zechs skidded into the hangar and sighed in
relief as he saw his mobile suit in pristine condition. *Externally,
anyway... I'd better run a few checks.*
As he settled into his seat
and activated the computers, his mind went back to the last time he'd
encountered Duo's 'handiwork'...
~*~*~*~
"Sir! Sir! Tallgeese--
it's--"
"What is it, Otto?"
Otto looked pained. "You'd better see
for yourself, sir."
Zechs stopped short just inside the hangar, staring
aghast at his Gundam. Silly String dangled from every possible location, it was
holding a banner that said 'DEATHSCYTHE ROCKS -- I SUCK!', and large bumper
stickers had been plastered all over it. Slowly, he read his way
down.
'MY MIND NOT ONLY WANDERS, IT SOMETIMES LEAVES
COMPLETELY'
'I USED TO BE SCHIZOPHRENIC, BUT WE'RE OKAY NOW!'
'I
SUFFER FROM OCCASIONAL DELUSIONS OF ADEQUACY'
'HAVING AN OUT-OF-BODY
EXPERIENCE, BACK IN FIVE'
'WANTED: MEANINGFUL OVERNIGHT RELATIONSHIP'
(Zechs thought it was a bit much putting that one on Tallgeese's
*ahem* crotch.)
'NO SHRED OF EVIDENCE EXISTS TO SUPPORT THE IDEA
THAT LIFE IS SERIOUS'
'I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO PROCRASTINATE!'
And
then, on the feet:
'GUNDAMS: CHLORINE IN THE GENE POOL' and 'MEDDLE NOT
IN THE AFFAIRS OF GUNDAMS, FOR YOU TOO CAN GO *GISH*!'.
"Otto," Zechs
murmured faintly, "please tell me that's red paint all over the
floor."
"We think so, sir. It's not changing colour as it
dries."
"Oh, good."
"Ah, sir... there's a packet on the
seat inside. It's, ah, addressed to you."
As Zechs stepped into the open
hatchway, ducking under 'BACK IN FIVE', he realised why Otto had been blushing
faintly; the white envelope had 'To Sexy Zechsy!' scrawled across it. Scowling,
he opened it.
Inside, there was a single sheet of paper and a disk; Zechs
felt the first tremors of apprehension as he saw that the disk was labeled 'Sexy
Zechsy Pics'.
Hey, Zechsy!
I had sooooo much fun getting these
little
holiday snaps. You've got quite a bod! There's only one
more copy
of this disk, and I haven't got it. Have fun
guessing who I gave it
to!
Love ya,
Duo Maxwell. :-)
--P.S. If you're wondering why I gave
you a
copy, well, I figured I had to give you something
in
return for what I took!
"Otto," Zechs snapped as he climbed out of
the cockpit, "have the mechanics start cleaning all this off. Alert the
base commandant; tell him we've been infiltrated and I believe data has been
stolen. Start the computer techs checking to see if he planted any viruses. And
for God's sake, beef up security
in here!"
"Yes, sir!"
"I'll be
in my quarters if you need me."
With the door safely locked behind him,
Zechs slipped the disk into his computer and started his virus checker. As it
worked its way through the files, he found himself fretting.
*'Holiday
snaps'. The only holiday I've taken recently was that weekend-- shit. There's a
lot of files. Who could he have given the copy to?! Treize-sama?
Otto? UNE?! General Septum-- no, hang on, he's dead. Phew!*
The virus
checker finished its run, and the first picture flashed up on the screen. And
'flashed' was a good word for
it...
"MAAAAXWEEEEELLLLLL!"
~*~*~*~
Zechs shuddered. *I
never did find out who got the copy.*
----------
Noin
finished wedging her Taurus's hatch open and climbed cautiously into the
cockpit. Settling nervously into the seat, she glanced back at the hatch, finger
hovering over the button that would start the computers.
*Damn it, I
used a piece of girder! I almost ruptured myself moving the bloody thing! I
think it'll hold.* And she pressed the button.
She held her
breath for a moment, as screens flickered to life around her, then relaxed when
nothing happened.
*That brat's made me paranoid, I swear! Not that I
don't have reason for paranoia...*
~*~*~*~
"It's a
Gundam! It's a Gundam!
***BOOOOM!!!***
Noin sprinted to the hangar
as a looming dark shape slashed through the fence with a glowing green
blade.*That's Deathscythe! Maxwell's got to be after the new mobile
suits! Damn it, how many times are those damn Gundam pilots going to show
up and trash the place just before we move out a new model?! First it was
Chang, then that Arabian pacifist, and now the Laughing Wonder makes an
appearance!* She winced as 'Don't Fear the Reaper' blasted out at a couple
of hundred decibels. *At least the other two took it seriously... I
think I preferred it before we found out who they were. He tried to sneak
back then.*
Leaping into her white Taurus, she brought all the
systems active and moved out to confront the Gundam. Behind her, the rest of the
base's pilots followed suit.
"Surrender!" she yelled over her
loudspeakers, cranking the volume as high as possible to compete with the lyrics
blasting out from Deathscythe. "You're surrounded and outnumbered!"
The
music cut off. < < Lemme think about it... naaaaah! I don't think so. >
> Duo's amplified voice boomed out. < < But y'know, I don't really feel
like trashing you guys. I mean, it's a beautiful night, the moon is up; it's
spring, and a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of not making
sushi out of a bunch of cannon fodder. I'm only after those suits, so why don't
the rest of you just sit this one out? > >
"I don't think
so," Noin snarled.
< < Well, that's just too bad. You see, I
figured you'd react that way, so I sneaked in here last night and uploaded some
fun stuff to your suits' main computers. They should kick in right about... now.
> >
Noin's mobile suit stopped dead. The viewscreen stayed active
just long enough for her to see the other suits around Deathscythe start to do
various things -- fall over, run in circles flapping their arms, waltz --
then the external view shut off and was replaced by a recording of Duo, waving
and grinning.
< < Hi Lu! > > he said brightly. < < I
figured since I can tell your suit apart from all the others -- classy paint
job, by the way, though I usually prefer black myself -- I'd set up something
special, just for you. I was just going to post these to you; but since
you're gonna be stuck in there for a while,
here's some pictures to keep you
amused. The disk is stuck under your chair. 'Bye! > >
His image
fuzzed into static as Noin scrabbled under her chair, found the disk and yanked
it out. Her eyes widened as she read the label.
"'Sexy Zechsy
pics'?!"
She snapped her head up to stare at the screen just as the first
picture flashed up.
"Oh, boy."
Zechs had obviously spent
his last couple of days off at a hot spring, because there he was on the screen,
easing himself into the steaming water and leaving nothing to the
imagination.
*Oh. My. GOD,* she thought as picture followed
picture. *How the hell did Maxwell get these pictures?! Oh wow,
look at that... he's gorgeous!* Noin shifted unconsciously in her seat,
tugging at the neckline of her top. *I'm getting all hot and bothered
here--*
*Hang on... it's not just me. It's really getting hot in
here! What's going on?*
Duo's program had locked her out of all the
controls, but she could still look at the settings; she brought up the menu for
the environmental system and swore as she realised it was set at something
approximating the Sahara.
An explosion somewhere outside rocked her
suit.
"Shit-- the suits-- aaaagh! MAXWELL, YOU
BRAT!"
~*~*~*~
*Thank god he'd set it so the pictures shut
off and the computer wiped itself when they finally cut the suit open,*
Noin thought, *or I'd never have lived it down!*
*...I
kept the disk, though.*
* * * * *
Relena sighed as she shut
down the vidphone. "Howard hasn't seen him, either," she reported. "He says
he'll start his contacts looking, but 'if Duo doesn't want to be found, I don't
hold out much hope'. What about you?"
Quatre smiled slightly at Relena's
imitation of Howard's gruff voice, but shook his head. "I finally tracked down
Hilde; did you know she was getting married?"
"No! Really? Goodness, it's
so easy to fall out of touch with people--" She stopped, wincing.
"Yes...
well, she's Hilde Michaels now, extremely happy, possibly pregnant and not
worried about Duo at all. I asked if she'd heard from him since the war, and she
said, 'Oh, no, but you know Duo, he'll turn up when he wants to; he's probably
off raising hell somewhere'." His mouth twisted. "Then she started telling me
all about what colours Peter dear is going to paint the nursery. It never
crossed her mind that maybe I was calling because something was
wrong."
"You can go on for a long time assuming that no news is good
news," Relena said softly. "I certainly did. And when I did wonder
if everything was all right, I told myself that maybe he was just giving Heero
and I time to... well... settle into our relationship without him around. As if
Duo Maxwell was ever the shy and retiring type! But I think... I believed it
because it was what I wanted. I wanted time alone with Heero without his
'old lover' complicating matters, even though I knew their relationship
wasn't like that, I knew he was the best friend Heero ever had -- the
best friend I ever had. He brought us together, damn it-- Excuse
me!" She got up and stumbled out, fresh tears blurring her
vision.
----------
Tears over and done with for now, Relena washed
her face in the handbasin, then looked up at the mirror. Her reflection stared
back, red-eyed and blotchy, sorrowful and slightly accusing.
"Don't look
at me like that," she whispered. "I don't like you very much right now." She
turned away and blotted her eyes dry with a soft towel. *I owe him my
happiness, and I still spent eight months trying not to think about him.
Maybe I didn't realise I was doing it, but still--*
*I haven't
cried this much since that day I walked in on
them...*
~*~*~*~
Relena crumpled onto a secluded park bench,
sobbing into her hands. *I knew they were close, but I never thought they
were lovers. I thought I had a chance-- Heero--*
*All this time --
oh, they must have been laughing at me behind my back!*
Beginning to
get herself under control, she groped for a handkerchief. *No. Not laughing.
They wouldn't. Even Duo... he can be so annoying, but he's not
nasty. He wouldn't make a joke out of this... would
he?*
Sniffing, tears running down her face, she nearly swore as her
fingers searched frantically through her bag. "Oh, for... silly little rich
girl, can't do anything for herself... don't I even have any blasted
tissues?!"
"Here," a voice said, and a hand thrust a large white
handkerchief in front of her.
"Thank you!" she blurted out, and
buried her face in it, mopping up tears and blowing her nose. "It's very kind of
you--"
She looked up and froze.
"Hey, ojousan," Duo said. "I think
we need to talk."
"I--I'm sorry," she said, looking away. "I just...
walked in-- I didn't know--"
**--Heero and Duo on the sofa, Duo
cradling Heero gently in his arms, one hand running up under his shirt to stroke
his back. Heero's face tucked into the join of Duo's neck and shoulder, arms
wrapped tightly around Duo's waist. Duo's leg wrapped around Heero's hip.
Heero's wide-eyed, shocked, vulnerable expression as he looked up and saw
her standing wide-eyed in the doorway--**
They'd been fully clothed,
but the tender emotion in their embrace had been undeniable.
"I won't
bother you again," Relena said quietly.
"Now that's where you're wrong,
hon," Duo said, sitting down beside her. "I know what that looked like -- and in
some ways, it was what it looked like -- but you shouldn't give up on
Heero because of me."
She sniffed, not looking at him. "It
looked like you love him... and I don't want to interfere with
that."
"You won't," he said seriously. Tipping her chin up, he
forced her to look at him. "Look, Relena, I don't lie. He loves me, but
he's in love with you. Just like I love him, but I'm in love with
-- uh, somebody else."
She couldn't help raising an eyebrow. "'Uh,
somebody else'?"
He coughed, embarrassed. "Well... since we're being
brutally honest here... it's Wufei. But for God's sake don't tell him! I'm kinda
hoping he'll figure it out for himself. Okay?"
"Okay. ...So, if we're
being 'brutally honest', tell me: if... what I saw... wasn't exactly what it
looked like," her hands clenched on the handkerchief, "what was it?
Please."
"Right. Brutally honest. Can I be 'brutally honest' without
going into the squicky details? 'Cause y'see, ojousan," he rushed on, "there are
some things Heero doesn't want you to know, and I don't want to tell you, and
believe me, you don't want to know. If you ask, I'll tell you; but
I don't think you should. Heero..." He paused. "Heero just got back from a
mission. It went... badly wrong, and he needed someone who understood. That's
what you saw. Exactly what went wrong, and why I understand, is where we get
into the squicky details."
"Is that why he looked so...
so..."
"Yeah."
She looked down at the handkerchief twisted around
her fingers. "And he went to you because you
understand."
"Yeah."
"But... I love Heero. And if he loves me...
Duo, I want to understand him!"
"No you don't."
She jerked
around, mouth open to object, and froze.
Duo was looking at her with his
expression completely open and transparent, hiding nothing. The jester's mask
was gone for a moment; he looked tired and older, lines of old pain and sorrow
etched faintly on his face. And his eyes...
She looked away.
"The
things you don't understand about Heero are exactly the things he wants to
protect you from," he said calmly; none of the pain she'd glimpsed showed in his
voice. "I understand, because the same things have happened to me. We've been
trained to kill in every way possible, and we've used that training
a
thousand times. We've been captured and tortured. We've screwed up on missions
and had to go on, knowing that we killed people who didn't deserve to die..."
His voice trailed off. "None of that has ever happened to you, and it never
will."
After a long pause, she managed to reply. "So I can never
understand him?"
"You understand enough, ojousan. Besides, he doesn't
need you to understand everything! Just understand what you can, and
accept the rest; that's all anyone can offer the one they love. Hell, I
don't understand everything about Heero, and he definitely doesn't
understand everything about me."
She peeked sideways at him. "Are you
lovers?"
He grimaced comically. "We're still being brutally honest,
right? Damn. Er... 'were' is more accurate. And do we have to say 'lovers'? I
mean, the word carries a whole lot of commitment baggage that I don't think
really applies here... can we use a different term? Um... 'close companions'?
'Mutual
comfort'? 'Male bonding', even?"
Relena snorted.
"Okay,
so maybe that last one's a bit of a stretch..."
"It's okay," she
interrupted. "I need to think about all this... but I think it's okay." She
wiped her eyes and sniffed a little. "Do you mind if I keep your handkerchief
for now?"
"Hey, no problem. Do you want me to walk you back to your
hotel?"
"No." She stood up determinedly. "No... I think maybe you'd
better go back and see if Heero... needs you. Right? And tell him, when he feels
better and it's okay for me to visit... tell him to call me?"
"Sure,
ojousan. And... thanks."
~*~*~*~
Relena pressed her forehead
against the cold glass and closed her eyes.
*I'm so sorry, Duo.
Please... come back.*
----------
Quatre shoved a stack of
papers away from him and dropped his head into his hands.
"How could we
do it, Trowa? How did we just let it slide for this long?"
Trowa put a
gentle hand on his shoulder. "We'll find him."
----------
Stalking
down a corridor with a cold, angry look on his face, Heero stopped and turned,
drawn irresistibly to one of the many pictures lining the walls. Duo's smiling
face looked back, eyes sparkling; beside him, Heero's own face
smirked.
Slowly, his expression crumpled into sadness.
"Baka," he
said softly, fingers rising to brush against the glass. "I thought we were there
for each other, always. Why didn't you come to
me?"
----------
Upstairs in a darkened room, Wufei sat with his
head in his hands, tears slowly falling between his fingers.
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