Fuming, Quatre looked up from the sheaf
of papers in his hand to glare at his lover. "Trowa, Duo needs us to take this
seriously, not just... um..."
His eyes widened as he realised
what he'd been hearing for the last minute or so. Snickering. Quiet, muffled
snickering, coming from where Duo was leaning against the wall, bent over with
one hand pressed firmly over his mouth, tears of mirth in his eyes.
"I
was taking it seriously," Trowa said, deadpan. "That was a perfectly
logical evaluation."
"Hoo!" Duo whooped, giving up the struggle to be
quiet. "Logical?! 'What drugs is he taking' is logical?!"
"It
adequately expressed my concerns that he might not be operating on the same
plane of reality as everyone else..." Trowa's voice trailed off as Duo collapsed
into helpless laughter again, and he raised an eyebrow at Quatre. "Just like Duo
took his missions seriously during the war," he explained, barely above a
whisper, "but still managed to find room for a little humour. I thought it was a
good idea, and look..." He smirked slightly. "My work here is done."
"Hiyo, Heavyarms, awa~ay?" Quatre sighed, slumping a little. "You're
right, and I didn't even see that he needed to--"
"Don't start
that again!" the taller pilot hissed under his breath, snatching the printouts
out of his hand and swatting him with them. "You didn't do anything wrong, now
just relax!" Turning smoothly to Duo as Quatre yelped and jumped back, hands up
to protect his head, he continued calmly, "You have to admit, that mission plan
reads like it was written by somebody who believes every member of the team is a
superhuman being, to whom normal physical limits do not apply. ...Hm." He looked
thoughtful. "Are you sure that was written by Gilmore, and not Heero or Wufei?"
"Positive," Duo sputtered, straightening up with an effort. "Heero's
plan would be something like 'This is my mission. The rest of you, wait
outside...' And Wufei's mission plan would be at least ten pages longer, with
every single detail planned out, listed in black and white, and timed to the
second."
"Plus it would be possible," the blond said, managing an
awkward smile.
"Exactly!" Duo laughed, then looked around guiltily,
seeming to remember where he was. "Um... so, anyway, if you guys could finish
the evaluation, I'd appreciate it," he went on, voice lower but eyes still
sparkling. "Oh, hey, I nearly forgot-- did things turn out okay with your
panicking manager? There was something going on with the EPA, wasn't there?"
"Oh, that!" Switching mental gears in a hurry, Quatre looked confused
for a moment. "How did you-- oh, stupid of me, that was why I left early... Yes,
everything should be fine now. That branch of WEI deals with manufacturing a
wide range of industrial chemicals, some of which are dangerous, so they're
subject to periodic visits by the EPA. They check to make sure that all the
documents are up to date, properly stamped by government inspectors, the plants
are being maintained as necessary... that sort of thing. There's a schedule for
these visits, but it was one of the bits of paperwork Elite managed to
misfile--"
Duo grimaced at that, and Quatre winced slightly, but went
on.
"--and that manager got promoted into the position after the
last visit, so he didn't remember about them. Though he should have, it's not as
if he was transferred in from outside that branch... Well, since the EPA
inspectors have to have full access to everything, they always arrive with a
warrant. It's a perfectly routine matter, but he wasn't expecting it, and he
panicked." He snorted, remembering the babbling, hand-waving man he'd spoken to
on the vidphone. "Not a good idea even when the EPA are genuinely on the
warpath, which they weren't. Just very confused, when he ran into his office,
locked the door and phoned me in hysterics..."
"Ow!" Duo stifled another
snicker, trying to look suitably solemn and disapproving. "I guess he's kind of
in trouble now?"
"Let's just say Boris Wertheim isn't a regional manager
for Winner Enterprises any more, and his referral letter doesn't advise giving
him too much responsibility."
The braided teen blinked, eyes widening in
shock. "I wasn't thinking that much trouble! That's a bit harsh, isn't
it?"
"I don't think so," Quatre disagreed, a dangerous glint in his
eyes. "Not when you consider that I had to spend over three hours in a
conference call with the EPA inspection team, Wertheim's second-in-command, and
the head of the regional EPA branch, explaining that no, Wertheim didn't
actually have a reason for not wanting the Environmental Protection Agency to be
examining his books; no, we weren't hiding anything; no, I certainly had
not ordered him to try to lock them out of the building... I think
they're going to be paying extra attention to my Eastern European branches for a
while, even so, and that's a black mark WEI does not need on its record."
"...Point," Duo conceded weakly. "Good point. I hadn't realised it was a
screwup of that magnitude, sorry..."
"Neither did he," Trowa cut in. "I
saw Une's head sticking out of her office door and looking this way a moment
ago, so I think it would be a rather major screwup for us if we don't head in
that direction now... When do you need these evaluations, Duo?"
"Uh, Une
wants a preliminary report next week, so... as soon as convenient?" Duo
hazarded. "Tomorrow would be good, but if you're busy--"
"Tomorrow it
is," Quatre said firmly. "This is hardly a Herculean task, and we're glad to
help!"
"What he said, only without the literary reference," Trowa
smirked, patting Duo's shoulder as he moved past. "See you."
Duo stood
for a moment, looking after them, chewing his lip indecisively; then he nodded
to himself, and headed back towards Wufei's desk.
----------
Lady Une looked at the clock, then out her open door.
Quatre
Winner is never late for an appointment, she thought, frowning.
Punctuality should be his middle name, not--
Her eyebrows rose as
she heard the blond teen's voice raised in exasperation. "Trowa, Duo needs an
evaluation, not a comedy sketch!" There was a bit more muffled conversation,
then Quatre nearly shouted "Trowa!"
Well, he's here... Une
listened more closely, rising and stepping to the door, staying out of sight.
That sounds like Duo... I hope they haven't upset--
There was a
shout of laughter, and she began to relax, leaning against the door frame.
Peeking out, she watched Duo talking to Trowa and Quatre, eyes bright and
occasionally snickering; he'd quieted down since the first delighted yelp, but
was obviously still enjoying himself.
Well, it seems Chang's mission
may have had added benefits, apart from convincing Duo that he'll come back,
she thought, moving back to her desk and settling into the chair. He's
actually talking to them... He didn't take it well, though, I wish it hadn't
required something that drastic... Ah well, what's done is done. Picking up
a sheaf of paper, she leaned back and perused the report. Fortunately, I
don't have any other appointments. Quatre can be as late as he
wants.
A few minutes later, she looked up at a knock on her open
door. "Winner, Barton... come in. Good morning."
"Good morning, Lady
Une," Quatre said, shooting a guilty glance at the clock. "I'm really very sorry
we're late--"
"I'm not," she interrupted him, tossing the report back
onto her desk and sitting up straight. One and a half pairs of wide, startled
eyes met hers, and she stifled an unladylike snort. "From what I saw, you were
making Maxwell laugh. I consider that to be a worthwhile endeavour right now...
though that shouldn't be taken to mean that you can be late to anything
really high-priority," she added dryly. "Now, shall we get started?"
----------
"Hey... how's it going?"
Wufei snorted
without looking up, absorbed in writing a comment in large, emphatic block
letters. "The man is a fool. He's completely failed to take into account the
varying skill levels and specialties of the team members, and from the look of
this he's working from about half of the information he should have got
before making concrete plans. There's one stage of the plan where I think he
expects one person to be in three different places at once..."
Duo
grinned. "I take it you wouldn't go on this mission, then?"
His
boyfriend looked up, blinking in surprise. "Oh, I'd go," he said blankly,
sounding surprised that anyone would consider any other course of action. "I'd
rewrite the mission plan to my own satisfaction first, of course, but I'd go."
There's a major difference between us, Duo thought, not realising
he was smiling fondly at the picture Wufei made with his reading glasses perched
on the end of his nose and a strand of hair escaping from his ponytail, wisping
down across his forehead. I look at this and think 'hell no'. He looks at it
and thinks 'duty requires it, but I'll do it my way'... Wufei was
speaking again, and Duo dragged his attention back to the conversation.
"As written, I think the only one of us who could pull this off is
you, Duo, and only if there were seven of you," Wufei said, looking back at the
printout. "I could do most of it, but the security system is beyond my abilities
to crack quietly. Noisily, yes, but not quietly. In any case, I'll have this
finished in a few minutes, so--"
"Oh, hey, no rush!" the braided teen
insisted, waving his hands. "That's not what I came to talk to you about, though
it's great that you're already mostly done with it. Um... I sort of wanted to
ask..."
"Yes?" Wufei smiled, _expression warm and caring, and Duo gulped
as he nearly lost his train of thought.
"Uh... I just ran into Tro and
Quat," and Quatre was so damn twitchy around me I wanted to
scratch, "and I was thinking... maybe we could invite them to dinner? If you
don't mind?" Maybe that'll make him settle down? I'm not mad at him... not
any more... not really... but I guess he's still worried, and maybe
this'll help?
Wufei's eyes widened slightly, but that was the only
outward indication that he might be finding the request at all unusual. "I don't
mind at all," he said emphatically. "In fact, I think it's a great idea.
Hmm... Quatre tends to run into the same 'high visibility' problems as Relena
when he eats out, so dinner at our place would be best, don't you think?"
'Our place'. He said it again! "Uh, yeah," Duo stuttered, feeling
his cheeks heat up in a blush. "Trowa's okay with garlic, but Quatre doesn't
like it that much, so the Spaghetti Bolognese of Death is out, though."
"I'm sure that between us, we can come up with an alternative," Wufei
said soothingly, punching buttons on his vidphone with one hand as he beckoned
Duo into his little homemade enclosure with the other. "You'll sprain your neck
if you keep twisting it to peer in past the bookshelves, you know... hold on a
moment... Amanda, hello."
< < Agent Chang, good morning. How can I
help you? > > Une's secretary said, her apparently permanent gentle smile
firmly in place.
"Could you let me know when Barton and Winner finish
their appointment with Lady Une, please? Nothing urgent, but Duo and I do need
to speak to them."
< < No problem. They're scheduled to break for
lunch at 12.30, so it'll probably be shortly after that... certainly not before,
judging by past experience, > > she added, dimple appearing briefly as her
smile widened. < < I'll call you, and ask them to wait for a moment. >
>
"Thank you." He nodded politely and disconnected, turning away from
the screen with a quiet, satisfied sigh as Duo sidled cautiously in. "Welcome to
my office," he grinned, picking up the copy of the mission plan and
waving it at the 'walls' around them. "Not as official as yours, perhaps, but I
do have a penholder as well."
"Ooh, red plastic," Duo said
admiringly, relaxing enough to perch on the corner of the desk. "Stylish."
"And good Feng Shui, in theory, not that I ever put much faith in
that... anyway. This might look good to somebody who doesn't read past the
summary or doesn't know any better, but I can say with full confidence that you
are not overreacting to it," Wufei went on, voice souring as he waved the
plan again, contemptuously this time.
"Even if I recommend disposing of
it -- and all the rest of them, and possibly the author -- with a flamethrower
and napalm?"
"...That didn't sound like you were joking."
"Not
really," Duo said grimly. "I've got the reports on what happened when Gilmore's
students tried to execute his fucked-up excuses for plans, too. No fatalities,
yet, but... it got pretty close, a few times. I know what I'm going to say about
the plans. My recommendations for dealing with him... well, I'm going to
start talking to his students this afternoon, and doing a bit of research into
the man himself. We'll see."
Duo's expression was unusually serious,
even taking into account the fact that he was generally quiet and non-manic
these days, a glint of hard steel in his eyes; Wufei swallowed uncomfortably,
and changed the subject.
----------
"--don't think we'll have too much trouble getting the budget
increases we want this time," Quatre was saying as the door opened, head turned
back towards Lady Une. "Wingrove will put up a good fight, but with Relena and
her supporters all firmly on our side he'll have a hard time convincing enough
of the independents to vote against us, especially since we can point at our
track record of arrests and impoundments to prove that no, Humanity
hasn't 'matured beyond the need for a nanny organization'..."
"I
like that tagline he used in last week's speech, though," Trowa volunteered,
following him out. "'The Preventers -- Diapering the World!'"
"I'd have
liked it better if it hadn't got Reid up on his 'everyone ignores the colonies'
hobby-horse," Une said dryly, coming last and closing the door behind them. "He
ranted for twenty minutes; I think the only reason I didn't shoot him was
because he always votes on our side. Is there anything I need to look at before
we go to lunch, Amanda?
"Nothing requiring your immediate attention,
Lady Une, but Agent Chang and Mister Maxwell would like a brief word with Mister
Winner and Mister Barton," her secretary said cheerfully, shuffling a stack of
papers into order with one hand while the other reached for her vidphone's
touchpad. "I'll just let them know you're free-- oh, there they are."
"I'll go on ahead and get us a table before the main lunch rush
arrives," Une started, then re-checked her watch and grimaced. "Hm. Too late. We
may be reduced to hovering significantly behind someone until they move, sorry."
"Major Po is holding a table for you," Amanda informed her, waving to
catch Wufei's attention from where he and Duo were standing talking at the
entrance to Duo's office.
"That's... suspiciously convenient," Une
muttered, shooting her a sharp look that had no effect on her serene façade.
"Well. In that case, I'll go ahead and join her before she gives up on us."
"We'll be with you shortly," Quatre assured her, then turned back and
raised an eyebrow at Amanda as the colonel strode off. "It is
suspiciously convenient, isn't it?"
"Not when you consider that late
lunches are the norm for Lady Une," she pointed out cheerfully. "Normally Major
Po chooses to -- ah -- 'leave her in the lurch', but on this occasion I believe
she said something about 'having pity on the growing boys'."
"'Boys'?"
Trowa muttered, looking faintly offended.
"'Growing'?" Quatre muttered
back, looking rueful. Unlike his lover, he hadn't had a sudden growth spurt
during the last year, and rather resented it.
"Trowa, Quatre," Wufei
nodded, walking up with a nervous-looking Duo trailing behind him. "Sorry to
bother you, but we wanted to ask something..." He trailed off, glancing back at
Duo with a hesitant, encouraging expression.
"Um." Duo gulped audibly,
then stepped forward the half-pace necessary to bring him level with Wufei's
shoulder. "We were wondering... I mean, it would be kinda nice if... If you
don't mind and you've got time and everything..." It was his turn to trail off,
shooting a panicked, beseeching look at the Chinese teen.
"We'd like to
invite you both to dinner at our place," Wufei finished for him. Duo nodded,
adding non-verbal confirmation but apparently having given up on talking for
now. "Would that be all right? When would be convenient for you?"
Quatre
was speechless for a moment, a delighted grin spreading across his face as he
realised that yes, he had heard right, and yes, Duo had-- well, Duo hadn't
actually issued the invitation, but he'd made it halfway through before he
stalled, so surely that meant he didn't mind? Even if it's Wufei's idea,
Wufei would never make him do anything he didn't want to, so he has to at least
agree that it's okay!
"We'd love to," Trowa said calmly, picking up
the conversational ball before Quatre's brain-freeze could cause an
embarrassingly long silence. "And I know we're free Monday night, if that's okay
with you two."
Wufei glanced quickly at Duo again, saw no overt signs of
horror, and nodded. "Sounds good. Seven?"
"Seven o'clock, your place,"
Trowa confirmed, nudging Quatre unobtrusively. "We'll look forward to it."
"Y-yes!" the blond stuttered, jolted out of his happy daze. "Thanks! Ah,
uh, can we bring anything? Wine? Dessert?"
"Dessert...?" Duo said in a
tiny voice.
"We're both still taking drugs that don't mix well with
alcohol," Wufei grimaced, "so wine is out unless you want to bring some for
yourselves, I'm afraid. I agree with Duo, though, dessert would be wonderful."
He grinned suddenly. "The only time I actually gained weight during the war was
when I spent three weeks hiding out at one of your properties, Quatre, and your
cook kept trying to find a dessert that I'd actually eat. Once he discovered my
weakness for those damned little chocolate-and-strawberry things -- you know,
the ones that are the calorific equivalent of plutonium -- I was doomed."
Trowa and Duo looked at him with surprised expressions, and Quatre
sputtered with sudden laughter. "I remember that! I learned about fifteen new
words when you found out you'd gained two pounds! I think you even made
Rashid blush!"
"Wufei likes chocolate?" Trowa asked quietly,
sidling over to Duo. "I didn't know that."
"Don't look at me," Duo
muttered back, nerves completely forgotten. "I didn't know either. And given the
number of times I tried to get him to eat sweet junk food during the war, I'm
surprised I didn't find out!"
"You know, you really upset Nasser when
you wouldn't even taste his desserts after that," Quatre went on, trying to look
severe and not even coming close.
"I was more concerned with maintaining
my ability to fit in my Gundam," Wufei grumbled, looking rather embarrassed.
"And you were eating just as much as I was! Why aren't you about fifteen
sizes larger than you are?!"
"Fast metabolism," he replied smugly, eyes
sparkling. "Runs in the family. Well, I know what we should bring with us on
Monday, then..."
"Noooooo, not the evil little chocolate things!" Wufei
groaned, turning to bury his face in Duo's shoulder. "I'm doomed again! Duo,
save me!"
Lady Une, coming back to see what was taking so long, walked
into a scene that made her stop short as if she'd run into a wall. Chang,
clutching theatrically at Duo's shirt as he whimpered something about 'evil
chocolate'. Duo, with a half-bewildered, half-amused expression on his face,
patting Chang's shoulder sympathetically. Winner, staring wide-eyed, mouth
opening and shutting silently (an expression, she noted, that was shared by most
of the Preventers in the room who'd noticed the little tableau). And Barton,
choking with laughter, using Amanda's desk for support as she helpfully thumped
his back.
Une left without speaking to them. There are some things you
just shouldn't interrupt.
* * * * *
Back in his office after
lunch, Duo sat staring at a neatly typed sheet of paper, wiping his palms slowly
up and down his pants legs. It didn't look like anything that would make someone
nervous; just three columns of data, names and dates and telephone numbers...
Taking a deep breath, he tugged a notepad out from under the stack of
files on the corner of his desk, folded back pages covered with notes and
angry-faced little doodles until he reached a clean sheet, picked up a pen, and
dialled the first number.
< < Records section, Agent Gifford
speaking. > >
"Ah, hi," Duo said. His voice was mostly under
control, and his face seemed calm, but his hands were fisted in his lap, out of
line of sight from the vidphone screen, clamped tightly around the pen. "My
name's Duo Maxwell; I'm working for Lady Une as a consultant at the moment, and
I need to ask you a few questions about the matter I'm investigating. Do you
have a minute?"
< < ...Uh, sure, I guess, > > Gifford said
uncomfortably.
"Thanks. You were a member of the team that tried to
infiltrate the, um, 'Black Lotus' terrorist group's headquarters on January the
fourth this year, right?" he went on, quickly re-checking the list to confirm
the name and date.
< < Yeah, I was, > > the older man
replied, eyes flicking down and away from the screen as he scrubbed one hand
through his short hair. < < Look, I already answered a few billion
questions in the post-mortem to that cluster-fuck, okay? We screwed up, it went
wrong, our bad, so sorry, end of story! I'm out of field ops for now and
probably for good, you don't need to dissect the whole-- > >
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Duo yelped, holding his hands up. "Hold it! I'm not
actually asking about that mission, I was just checking I had the right guy!"
< < ...Oh, > > Gifford froze with his hand still raised,
expression an interesting mix of embarrassment and shame. < < Sorry. I'm,
uh, I guess I'm a bit touchy on the subject. > >
"Yeah, well, I
can understand that. I've got all those records, I've read them, and I'm not
going to make you go over it all again," Duo assured him, waving one hand at the
teetering pile of files. Pulling the notepad out from underneath them seemed to
have unbalanced the stack; he paused to straighten them a bit, putting off the
inevitable collapse, and went on. "I want to ask you about stuff before that,
basically the lead-up to that mission. All the lead-up... starting from
when you transferred into Stealth and Dirty Tricks division, and ending when you
completed your introductory training."
----------
"Agent
Vanderveer? I-- ooh, nice cast!" Duo couldn't hold back a snicker at the sight
of the stiff-backed, attractive blond woman with her arm in a cast decorated
with Hello Kitty stickers and 'Get well soon mommy' scrawled on it in various
colours.
< < Thanks, > > she said dryly. < < My
daughter decided it was too plain, and then the twins brought out the Magic
Markers. I'd prefer something a little plainer, but every time I even think
about taking the stickers off they look at me. > >
"I'd
sympathise, but I tend to be on the giving end of that tactic, not the receiving
end," he snickered. "More power to your kids, I say."
< < That's
exactly what Major Po said when I badgered her into letting me come back to work
on light duties... and she won't resurface it for me. How can I help you, ah--
> >
"Oh, sorry. Duo Maxwell, temporary consultant," he explained,
glancing down at his notes and missing the momentary flicker of surprise and
recognition across her face; by the time he looked up again, she was back to
looking politely interested. "I need to ask you some questions about the Stealth
and Dir-- uhhh, Covert Operations and Sabotage course you were on in December
last year..."
----------
Daria Vanderveer eyed the vidphone
speculatively after the call was over, thinking about the thin young man who'd
lost his nervousness when he saw her cast. Investigating Stealth and Dirty
Tricks, are you? Good. If I hadn't been in that car accident, I would have been
on the same mission that landed four of my classmates in the hospital. I don't
like having my friends in the hospital; if someone's error is to blame
for it, I want it found.
Usually on the giving end of 'looks', hm?
I remember that little incident in the cell block on Christmas Eve. No wonder
Chang recovered fast, with you around to nag him! And that reminds me... there's
a betting pool open on those two. I normally don't bother tracking office
romances, but perhaps in this case I should make an
exception?
----------
"Agent Hansen? You took the training
course run by Agent Gilmore, right? I need to ask you a few questions..."
----------
"Yeah, is this Agent Giancarlo? Tony Giancarlo? My
name's Duo Maxwell; have you got a moment for me to ask you a few things?"
----------
"Agent Yun, hi. Sorry to bother you at home, but..."
----------
After a few hours of telephoning and talking to
people, Duo's throat was dry and he had a surprisingly large stack of notes.
Phew. Good thing I've got decent handwriting even when I'm in a hurry, he
told himself, glancing through the pages and underlining a few bits that
particularly interested him. Sometimes I think the main reason Heero spent so
much time on his laptop during the war was because even he couldn't read
his notes unless he typed them!
Without consciously realising it, he
flinched away from that train of thought and back to the job in front of him.
Right. I'm still going to have to talk to some more people tomorrow -- hmm,
Sipps is still in hospital but he's allowed visitors now, I should go see him --
but I think I've got a pretty good selection of opinions on Gilmore. I may not
have come right out and asked what his students thought of him, but I
angled some of the other questions the right way to get them to come up with
personal views... stupid rules about not being allowed to openly investigate a
person unless he's been charged with something,
feh...
Well. I may not be supposed to come right out and ask his
students 'Hey, do you think Gilmore's criminally stupid or just badly
socialised?', but I can do a bit of research in other ways.
One tap
on the speed-dial button all Preventers in HQ had on their vidphones, and a
minute later he was talking to Amanda. "Hi, Amanda! Could you do me a favour? I
need to know the proper procedure for requesting to see a senior agent's
personnel file..."
< < That's simple enough, > > she assured
him. < < You need Lady Une's approval, and I can't see her refusing so
long as you've got a good reason. > >
"Yeah, well, I also want to
have some background checks run on his family."
Her eyes widened. <
< ...Oh. That's just a bit more complicated. > >
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