"Duo! Are you coming?" Quatre called from the lounge room, and Duo hurried to put the last few items on the tray.
"Coming!" he yelled, picking up the tray and shoving the kitchen door open with his hip. "I was just fixing coffees and-- uh-oh. Guys... what's up?"
Heero and Wufei were sitting on the sofa with an inviting Duo-sized gap between them, Quatre was curled up in his favourite overstuffed armchair, and Trowa was leaning on the back of his chair. All perfectly normal and usual, except for the huge grins on all four of their faces.
"Whatever do you mean, Duo?" Quatre asked sweetly, widening his eyes in an exaggerated parody of his usual innocent expression.
"That's exactly what I'm talking about," The braided teen said suspiciously, putting the tray down on the coffee table. "You're all looking way too smug for my peace of mind. I'm supposed to be the one who smirks mysteriously and makes people examine their consciences!"
"Are you saying you have something on your conscience?" Trowa drawled, lifting Duo's mini-cam to his eye and peering through the viewfinder. "You haven't done anything sneaky lately, have you?"
"I... I-yi-yi," Duo muttered, recognising it. "Gee, I just remembered, guys, I have to go to the store--"
"Oh no you don't," Heero grinned, sliding off the sofa and intercepting Duo before he could back out the door. "We've got something to show you."
"After all, you went to such trouble to document our-- er-- 'habits'," Wufei told him, tugging him down onto the couch next to him. "We felt we owed you something in return."
"This is going to be one of those karmic revenge things, isn't it?" Duo sighed, resigning himself to the inevitable.
"Sort of!" Quatre agreed, lifting the remote and pushing 'PLAY'. "We certainly think it's exactly what you deserve..."
The television screen flickered to life, showing a blank piece of interior wall. There was a faint giggle from offscreen, and Quatre's hands thrust a signboard into view.
'STALKING THE WILD DUO- EPISODE ONE'
'Presented by Quatre Raberba Winner'
"Trowa came up with the title," the blond said proudly, then shut up as the episode started.
The five ex-terrorists watched the 'documentary' in silence-- well, Duo watched it, squirming and blushing with mingled delight and embarrassment, and the other four watched him. There was a slight disturbance at one point during Trowa's episode: < < The Heero can float, but that's all he can do... besides which, he floats face down, not face up. That position is known as the 'Dead Man's Float'-- > >
"Heero Yui," Wufei murmured softly, smirking. "Perfect Soldier. Man without flaw. ...Swims like a hammer."
After the ensuing scuffle, Quatre rewound a bit to make sure Duo hadn't missed anything, glaring the two combatants into silence as he did so. The rest of the viewing passed without incident.
"You honestly didn't have to-- That was really-- I mean--" Duo stuttered after it was over, wide-eyed and still blushing.
"Yes we did," Heero contradicted him, pulling him into a hug as the others nodded. "We've tried to tell you how special you are to us-- to all of us-- and you've never quite seemed to believe it. This gave us an opportunity to show it."
"A picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words," Wufei chuckled, leaning in to drop a kiss on the back of Duo's neck. "A movie has to be worth at least a million."
Quatre and Trowa quietly left the room.
A few minutes later, Heero drew back from a lingering kiss with a sigh, stroking down the length of Duo's bared throat with his fingertips. "Wufei said something earlier about taking a shower together," he said huskily. "Sounds good. Interested?"
"Uh... yeah," Duo said, a little dazed. "Umm... you guys go ahead, okay? I'll be up in a minute."
"We can wait," Wufei mumbled, nuzzling under his ear.
"No, I just want to sit for a minute. That-- that was pretty special, and I want to think about it..."
"Ah. Fair enough, then." Wufei shot a wicked look at Heero over Duo's shoulder. "We'll save some hot water for you to get into."
Duo sat quietly for a few minutes, sipping at his cooled coffee with a bemused smile on his face. "That was so cool," he whispered to himself. "I'm glad they liked it, instead of getting mad. Sneaking up on them like that was fun..."
About to get up and join Heero and Wufei, he paused as his gaze fell upon his camera, sitting on the table where Trowa had left it.
*Of course, now that they know about it, I don't really have to sneak...*
The camera was focussed on the upstairs bathroom door, and the quiet sound of running water indicated that his lovers were already having the shower. Duo's hand reached into the shot and stealthily turned the knob, opening the door to reveal Heero's and Wufei's clothes strewn over the floor. Their silhouettes were visible through the translucent shower curtain, pressed tightly together...
...until Duo whipped the curtain aside, and yelled in his best Steve Irwin voice. CRIKEY! Wot a beauty! Two of the finest specimens it's ever been my pleasure to see, performing a MATING RITUAL!
"Duo..." Heero said warningly, stepping forwards.
Oooh, look at that aggression! Duo yelled gleefully, backing away. These beasties are dangerous when riled! We could be killed dead! --Or screwed into the floor, he added in his normal voice, speeding up as two naked, dripping bishounen came after him. I know which I'd prefer-- AWK!
The camera went flying as Wufei tackled him, bouncing off the wall and coming to rest sideways on the floor. It showed a slightly blurry close-up of part of Duo's torso as two pairs of hands started to strip him, occasionally pausing to tickle the squirming form.
"Oh, dear," Quatre's voice said, giggling. Trowa's long legs stepped over the tangled heap of bodies, and the camera was picked up, catching a brief shot of his half-amused, half-exasperated expression before he turned it around to reach the controls.
"You three do have a room, you know--"
OWARI, The End, yadda yadda...
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