Bish Hunter Duo




Pairings: 1x2x5, 3x4.
Warnings: Silly as Hell, yaoi, language, AU, .
Disclaimer: We don't own anything... We do this for fun.

** Brought to you directly from Christy's demented dreamscape, proving once again that we're crazy!**

minor scene change (from person to person at the same place, etc): ----------
major scene change (at another place, some time later, etc): * * * * *
thoughts (and the occasional sound effect): *Tadah!*
some more sound effects (little ones!): -tadah!-
Duo's narration to the camera: tadah



The only reason Duo wasn't dragging his bag behind him was because the strap was too short and it would have gotten caught up with his feet. He was cold, tired, and aching from assorted bruises in unmentionable places, and all he wanted was to get home.

Not that he was going to get what he wanted anytime soon.

"Damn Preventer missions are worse than being a terrorist was," he muttered to himself, falling into a chair and dumping his bag in front of him for a footrest. "Gotta use those damn dinky-toy Leo suits instead of my 'Scythe-- when I'm allowed to use a suit at all-- and Une's a worse slavedriver than G ever was. I want a hot shower. I want a massage. I wanna curl up in a warm bed with my lovers... I want some of Trowa's cooking to be waiting for me when I wake up... and I wanna get started on those two weeks of vacation time I've been promised. Instead, I'm stuck in an airport where the central heating's on the blink, and I've got five hours to wait for my flight..."

The loudspeaker on the ceiling above him crackled to life, and a heavily Swedish-accented voice began to speak. < < We regret to inform passengers that the 6:30 AM flight to San Francisco will be delayed-- > >

"Aw, fuck!"


Twenty minutes later, Duo had decided that Stockholm Airport was on the top of his list of places not to get stuck in.

"I'm sorry, sir, but none of the cafes or shops are open before seven," the girl at the information desk told him.

"But this is an international airport!" he protested. "People are coming through here at all hours! I can't even get a damn candy bar or a book to read?"

"People generally bring their own, sir."

"Yeah, if they know about the dumb trading hours before hand, they do," Duo grumbled, turning away.

Sitting down by his bag again, he propped his chin in one hand and looked around for something remotely interesting to occupy his attention. He could feel a real stinker of a black mood hovering, waiting to descend on him if he let it, and that would not be a good idea. "It's too cold to go to sleep," he mumbled, scanning the room. "I'd probably end up missing the plane if I did, anyway... jeez, everyone here is either asleep or practically mummified with boredom..." His eyes fell on a coin-operated video screen, and he brightened slightly. "A dose of pop culture wouldn't go amiss, I guess, even if it does turn out to be all in Swedish."


"One freakin' channel. One. Never mind 'sixty billion channels and they're all crap', I've got sixty billion channels and they're all busted!"


< < And here we can see at last one of the most beautiful sights in Nature-- > >

Duo was slumped in his chair, scrunched down as far as he could get without either sliding off onto the floor or doing something nasty to his many bruises. The single working channel wasn't one he'd normally have considered watching, but it was in English, it was marginally more animated than anything else happening in the terminal, and the machine wouldn't give his money back anyway.

*Pity it wasn't one of the movie channels, or comedy,* he thought, letting the quiet, breathy voice of the presenter wash over him. *I don't think I've ever heard of this channel! I mean, I can understand people wanting to watch historical shows, or nature documentaries... but historical nature documentaries? This stuff was filmed back in the twentieth century, for cryin' out loud! Half the species they're showing don't exist anymore!*

*Well, maybe that's why...*

Extinct species or not, Duo found himself watching the people narrating the programs more than the animals they were talking about. There was a couple of British naturalists, completely different in looks and style (though they had the same first name, he noted, which probably wouldn't have been so funny if he'd been less tired), and an Australian (who had Duo falling out of his chair laughing). A phone call to directory assistance got him the number of a pizza delivery place where they understood English and were willing to deliver to the airport, and the long wait ended up being tolerable after all.

Eventually, Duo made it to his plane and managed to sleep through most of the long flight home. He staggered off the plane into Heero and Wufei's arms, got his hot shower and massage (and more), and fell asleep again, curled up in a soft bed between two warm bodies.


The next morning, he woke up with an idea.


"Here." Trowa handed over the tiny video camera, watching with a raised eyebrow as Duo checked battery levels and memory capacity, chuckling evilly as he did so.

"Thanks, Tro," Duo said gleefully, flipping out the little display screen and panning from side to side. "I knew we had this thing somewhere!"

"What are you going to do with it?" Trowa asked quietly.

Switching the camera off and folding the screen back down, Duo thought for a moment, then nodded decisively. "David Attenborough, I think. He's sneakier."

"Trowa? What did Duo want?" Quatre asked curiously, poking his head out of the study a moment later and spotting Duo jogging away.

"The video camera."

"Oh? Why?"

"I have no idea," Trowa said solemnly, shaking his head.

*** No offense meant to any Swedish readers or Stockholm Airport (if there is one there). We know there would be vendors and machines for coffee and snacks. The cafes and shops would be closed at that time, but Duo would have been able to find vending machines at least. However... this did not fit into our plans, so the vending machines and all night vendors took the night off or something***



On to Episode 1

Gundam Wing




















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